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22 June 2006 @ 10:10 pm
Walking In My Shoes (8/?) (NC-17)  
Title: Walking In My Shoes (8/?)
Author: Kelly and Mike (collaborative writing team)
Rating: Chapters range from PG-15 to NC-17
Chapter: Chapter Eight rated NC-17
Email: jjsoapchat AT yahoo DOT com
Content: Cordelia/Angel, Romance, Smut
Summary: Written for a challenge proposed on the Stranger Things message board. Challenge By rousedower. An AU/TT Challenge: Angel goes to another dimension, hence AU, somehow. And in this dimension he is married to Cordy and they have kids. But something happened to the other Angel (he's missing or dead), so there's mad tension and what not between this Angel and AU!Cordy. She knows he's not her Angel, but the kids (a boy and girl) are pretty young and think he's their father. I imagine a scene where their little daughter asks him to read her a bedtime story/tuck her in with Cordy trying to explain to her that he's not her father (really), and he does it.
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution:
Notes: While it might appear at first reading that we haven’t met the challenge, I promise that in later chapters, it will all become quite clear.
Cast List: Kelly writes for Cordelia, Gunn, Lorne, Lillian, Kat, Ian, Illyria/Fred, Lilah, Eve, Faith, Gwen. Mike writes for Angel(us), Connor, Wes, random filler chars.
Feedback: Yes, please. Tell us how we are doing!

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Angel walked out of his changing closet in guess what? a black on black outfit. He was looking down as he buttoned his shirt. “I can't find my good shoes...” his voice trailed.

"Did you check the top shelf of the closet?" She called from the bathroom. He didn't need the mirror. He could gel his hair in the dark. She, on the other hand, always wanted to look her best for these weekly dates. Hell, she wanted to always look her best. Just because you were saving the world, that was no excuse to look bad.

Angel turned around and went back into the closet. He looked up. "Why are they up there?" he said as he reached for them. He stepped back out to the bed to sit and pull the shoes on.

"Because...that is where you put them. So Ian wouldn't fill them with Play-doh again." She stepped out of the bathroom. At least they matched with the black on black. Though she was showing more beautiful skin than black clothing. She laughed softly. "We look like we are going to a sexy funeral."

He looked up and saw her. He had to stop in what he was doing, his mouth falling agape.

She moved over to him. She slipped a finger under his chin and pushed up to close his mouth. "Letting the flies in. But good to know I can still leave you speechless."

"I wasn't speechless." the vampire said. He was doing his best to keep his eyes on her..eyes, yes her most attractive feature.

She looked down at him. "See, not the best thing to say in this situation, Angel. Compliment, usually good. Like 'yes, Cordelia, my love. You took my words away but only because you can't take my breath away. Because, as you know, I don't breath.' " She had her hand against her chest as she did her little speech. She lowered it but kept the smile on her lips.

Angel: "Its just that...Yeah, you are beautiful," Angel said as he stood. His eyes couldn't help but take advantage of his new position of standing to look down...at her..."Nice shoes too."

"Its just that...what?" She raised a brow. Even the shoe compliment couldn't detract from what he just said. Despite everything, she still had a slight underlying insecurity. And even though she loved Angel, something seemed off. She just chalked it up to his ordeal, his false memories and her concern for him. She was so worried that he was dead, part of her could feel it, that when he returned, she was too busy being happy to worry about any doubts.

Angel cleared his throat and spoke, "Movie, I thought we'd go see a movie. Gone With the Wind is playing."

She stepped away from him. "No. I am not going anywhere until you tell me what is going on. Keeping things from each other is what always got us in trouble before. Whether I did or you did. So out with it."

“Cordy, I don't know if its true or what. If the memories are real of planted..."

"If you can't look at me and tell me what is true, then maybe you need to go someplace until you can figure it all out. Look me in the eyes, right now. Tell me that you don't know if you love me or not. Tell me that you didn't enjoy laying in that bed with me last night with your arms around me or that you don't want to make love to me right now. I dare you to tell me that none of that is true."

"Cordy," he said as he moved to her, "that all feels so right. It feels like a dream come true for me. This life is what I've wanted, well save for still being a vampire. But you are the right woman for me."

"Then what is the problem? What more do I have to do here to convince you? I love you and this is where you belong. This is real, not whatever else is in your head. Can't you just trust in me about that and accept it?" Despite her better judgment, she moved closer to him. She loved him so much so this was killing her. "Angel...if this was all some dream or illusion, you are smart enough to know. You have all those spidey senses. If this was suppose to be some perfect world, you would have Shanshued. And things would be perfect. But they aren't. You are a vampire and you might not be cursed but you still can't feel the sun or enjoy food. We still have to fight everyday whether its demons or vampires or humans at Wolfram and Hart. And Connor loves you but he still hasn't totally come to grips with things. This isn't a perfect world, its not a wonderful dream. I love our life, I wouldn't trade it for the world, but its not perfect by any stretch."

Angel looked at her then took her hand in his. It was so warm and soft. It amazed him how she could get past what he was, basically a dead body with a demon in it. No pulse, breath, body temp or heart beat. "Cordelia, I'd known since before Pylea I loved you but I tried to keep it hidden. To risk it and give into it was to dangerous." He paused a moment trying to find the right words and hoped he could. "You've told me I am free of the curse of losing my soul. My mind, I'm not disbelieving you...but its still scary as hell to me to think what could happen."

"You've told me all of this before. Since your mind got messed up. I keep hearing the same things over and over from you and its driving me completely nuts, Angel. I can put up with a hell of a lot. I have put up with a hell of a lot for you. If you want to be scared, then you can be scared. I'm not. Since I've been with you, I haven't been scared since." She pulled her hand free of his. She was hurting too much. Until Wes got back and fixed this, she wasn't sure she could be around him with so much doubt clouding his mind. "Let's just call this night a wash. I'll sleep in one of the guest rooms tonight."

He pulled her back to him. "Its not a wash." he told her. "I'm not saying its not possible because right now, its very possible, seeing you in that outfit is just....and I want to take you out so all the other men in this city can be jealous of what I've got. Even though I'm not a man, but they don't know that."

"Damnit. I knew you were wishy washy but come on. Make up your mind on what you want. Either you want to be Angel, my husband or Angel, the nutjob. Which one is it going to be tonight?"

"I guess," he frowns a bit, "I'm sort of both. But the husband is winning out and make no mistake what I'd do if I even thought you were in danger. Its just a weird feeling, you know? But when I look at you its that good kind of weird."

"Yeah, its that happy in your pants kind of weird, right?" She gave him a bit of a sidelong smile. She poked him very lightly in his stomach. "I am starving. Where is Gone With The Wind playing? The drive in? We could swing by someplace, pick up food. Sound good?"

"How'd you guess?" he said and flinched with her poke. "You want chinese?"

"Do you even have to ask? And quit flinching. It ruins your whole dark avenger image." She started to pull away from him once more. "Let me get my coat and purse. Then we can go."

"Your purse is.." he said and he has it. Grinning at her, he held it up.

She grabbed it away from him. "It looks much better with me carrying it. Its not your season." She took her jacket off the back of the chair, pulling it on as she walked for the door. "We have something discuss on the car ride. And no, you aren't in trouble."

The vampire was about to ask just that when she said discuss something but after she added the other, he relaxed. "Well, your chariot awaits. I even polished the ol' girl up earlier."

"Like it really takes any arm twisting for you to go out and molest the GTX. Sometimes wonder if that car is the only thing that could really ever give you perfect happiness." She stepped out of their bedroom and headed through the rest of the house until she got to one of the main doors leading back to the hotel. It really did feel like their own separate home since they renovated the whole floor. It was only a matter of minutes and one elevator ride before they were in the parking garage, heading for the Angelmobile.

When at the car, he opened the door and waited for her to slide in on the driver's side, possible due to the bench seats that modern cars lack. "She's a classic."

"Its a girl? How did I know? And I know the whole reason you want me to slide over is in the hopes my skirt rides up and you can see even more skin. I know your game." She doesn't protest though as she gets in the driver's side. And she only slides in to the middle. What is the point of putting all that space between them?

Getting in, he shuts the door then puts the keys in the ignition. "Well, yeah, she's a girl." he said, sitting there a moment. "She's long and sleek," he paused as he starts the GTX, "and purrs when you stroke her just right." He looked at Cordy with a bit of a grin.

"You are SUCH a perv. Don't tell me girls actually used to fall for lines like that back in Ireland." Once he was settled and had started the car, she made herself more comfortable. She had found the perfect spot against his body to have the most contact without interrupting his driving. She didn't really want to end up in an accident for distracting him.

Angel pulled on out and shrugged. "Actually, I didn't start driving automobiles until I was over here in the States. I mean after the soul thing I never returned back there."

"I meant the cheesy lines. If they fell for cheesy lines like that." She rolled her eyes. "You are such a man. I wonder if you even listen or understand half the things I say." Her tone was light though. This was their date night. Their time to go out and have a good time. And it had been a while.

"What most of them enjoyed was," he put on the brogue, "watchin' os lads fight fer their fair affections."

Her nose wrinkles up. "I don't like it when you do that. It...it wigs me out." Probably for the simple fact that she doesn't associate that voice or that accent with her Angel. Its someone from a very long time ago. A someone who isn't the man driving right now or the man that she married. It reminds her of someone else too...The Scourge of Europe. Not something she wants to recall. Ever.

"Sorry." he said to her. "I did shed the accent when I came over here. Well, to me it wasn't an accent. But I didn't want to stand out."

"I know. And I know you don't remember how much I don't like it. Sort of killed the mood we had going here, baby." Then again, any thoughts of Angelus could make any woman's blood turn cold. Not exactly the romantic send you flowers type. More like the rape you, then kill you, then rape you again type. It didn't go a long way to setting the mood.

Angel pulled the car into a chinese place and pulled up at the drive through. He turned to the speakerbox to put in her order. . He knew what Cordy liked.

"Amazing. You remember what I like to eat but you don't remember our wedding day...or our wedding night." She grinned as she reached for her purse to get her money out. It was easier for her to get her purse then him to dig for his wallet. It was both their money anyway.

"Yeah, well, you've been eating it since before the little downtown office blew up." he said to her as she looked for her money.

She handed him over a twenty from her purse. "My tastes might have changed. I was craving anchovy and pineapple with green peppers pizza when I was pregnant with the twins."

"Okay, the anchovy thing is new." he said with a nod as he took the money to pay. Handed the change back, he gave it to her. "I guess that's better then sprouting a tail and horns." He chuckles.

"I don't crave it now, Angel." She rolled her eyes at him but playfully. She took the change from him to put back into her purse. She took the food from him as the window clerk passed it out. She put it in the footspace of the passenger's side since she was sitting next to him. "Speaking of horns and a tail...back to the topic I wanted to talk about."

The vampire pulled the convertible on out and into traffic heading for the old drive in. "Okay, what topic is that?" he asked as he glanced to her a second.

"Its about Connor." She just couldn't wait. That chinese smelled so good. And she was a sucker for some good crab puffs. She reached into the bag to get them out. "Do you remember Lillian at all? From the school?"

He shook his head. "No, sorry." Angel said. "I don't even remember anything about the school. Though, I found plenty of records where I had a large hand in getting it started."

"Well, the short of it is, your son has a thing for blonde slayers. I wonder where he got that from?" She gave Angel a pointed look. That was all his genes coming through there. "She came to the Academy a few months ago and it was love at first sight. Connor and Lillian have been keeping it a secret since he is well, the dean of the school and she is a student. She quit today and she is moving into the hotel with him." She had a feeling the questions about Lillian were going to come. The girl has to be good enough for his son, she knew that.

"Moving in?" he said. "Is she old enough to be with him and leaving school..." He shakes his head. "Where is she from?"

"They are the same age. This isn't just an Academy for young slayers. A lot of older potentials got activated too with Willow's spell. She went to college in Michigan. Got her degree in English. She was getting her teaching certificate when she was activated. Lived with her grandmother and had no idea why she could suddenly crush walnuts with her bare hands until Giles showed up. Willow did some spell to locate all the activated Slayers so they could be contacted." She paused for a moment. She wanted to get just one crab puff eaten before the barrage of questions started.

Pulling into the drive-in, he pulled out his wallet and eased the car on up. Everything paid, he drove on in to find a parking spot.

She managed to eat at least three crab puffs. They still had a few minutes before the movie was going to start. "Any other burning questions about Lillian? Her last name is Rogers, if you want to run a background check when we get back to the hotel. Her parents died when she was a baby in a car crash, just to warn you. So she has come to think of you as like her substitute father."

"No. I don't think that will be necessary." he replied. "If Connor likes her then she has to be good people, right?" He looked at her hoping she'll agree.

"She is really nice. And she makes Connor so happy. Not like that ditz he dated in college. Jennifer. What a total bitch. I think she must have just caught him at a bad time. He was all vulnerable because we finally got through all the walls and wanting to kill you thing. Completely took advantage of him. I was secretly glad she flipped out when she found out about his family."

"I really don't see the problem if he makes her happy." Angel said. ‘Because that means he's not looking at you’, goes through his mind.

"They seem really in love. I am really happy for him. He needs this." The odd relationship that might have existed in his world was completely null in this one. She was no more than a mother to Connor. She didn't take any of his crap when he came back and she helped him work through all his anger. "Well, you will probably get to meet her tomorrow while everyone is at the Academy. I thought you could help train her like you did with me? Well, not like you did with me because I could always tell when you were enjoying the training sessions a bit TOO much."

"I remember how you hated the red and white fishing bobber I strung up for you to combat, even put a smiley face on it." He laughed and shook his head. "You kept saying you wanted a light saber if you were going to fight some floating orb thing."

"I totally stand by that statement. I felt like Luke Skywalker or something. Only I wasn't making out with members of my own family." She reached into her bag now to get her food proper. She was starving. And she was going to need the fuel to watch Gone With The Wind and still have her special alone time later with Angel. He does have that vampire stamina. She leaned more against him, waiting for him to move his arm on the back of the seat so she could really be comfortable.

He moved his arm just like that as she moved over closer. His hand rested on her shoulder and then he leaned over and nuzzled her hair.

She snickered as he nuzzled her hair. It was causing small strands to brush and tickle against her naked shoulders. "Enjoying yourself there?"

"Your hair has always smelled so nice." he said to her. "I never get tired of it."

She shifted against the seat of the GTX. She had to admit the fact that he was getting so close to her was getting her excited. Watch the movie, Cordy. She had to keep that in mind. Or else they would end up having a public display in the back of the convertible. It wouldn't be the first time and it certainly wouldn't be the last. "Angel...its been over a week. Self-control is not at a high point for me right now. And I want to eat my food and at least watch through when Scarlet gets back to Tara after the fire."

If everything she has been saying was true then those long nights of...Angel shook his head just a bit as he sat back to face forward and look at the large screen of the drive-in. "Popcorn? Something to drink," he asked. "Before the movie starts?" He had to do something or else this old car was going to see more action then Sherman's march to the ocean. He reached for the door handle to open it and get out. "Anything else from the stand?"

"Just can't get away from me fast enough huh?" She laughed and held up her food and drink from the Chinese place. "I think I am pretty well set. Now, if you want a pack of Junior Mints...I might steal some later." She reached over, absentmindedly brushing her fingers against his thigh. She was losing her Angel pillow here so that last touch was just a gentle reminder. Considering his memory loss, he probably needed it.

"Junior mints," he repeated. "Okay. Good idea.” Angel turned and headed for the concession stand. What was wrong with him. He loved her and he was acting like a damn school kid with his first crush. He stood in line playing with the $20 in his hand as he waited his turn. Finally he was at the counter and he looked at the choice in the glass case.

While Angel was gone, she reached over to adjust the radio to the right station for the movie. She missed the little boxes that used to be just outside the car but guess in the long run, this was better. Or maybe not. She had no idea about running a drive in theater. She finished her dinner, putting the trash back in the take away bag and then putting it into the backseat. With nothing to amuse herself now, she looked around. What was taking Angel so damn long? The movie was going to start here and he was going to miss it.

Angel came up beside the car, his arms loaded with all the movie goodness snacks. One of each from the case. He made it just in time for a couple of boxes to fall from his arms. Hot tamales and DOTS. "I hope these last the movie." he said.

"Did you buy the entire snack bar? Leave some for the other people." She reached out to help him as the boxes started to fall from his arms. She put them on the passenger's seat next to herself and then held her hands out for more to move.

When his burden was relieved he got back in. Slipping his arm back on the back of the seat again, he pulled out a tootsie pop bouquet from his shirt and handed it to her. "Happy whatever anniversary it may be." the vampire said to her.

She laughed as she took it from him. She snuggled back up against him once more. "You are too sweet sometimes." She grinned from ear to ear though as she twirled the bouquet in her fingers.

"You bring out that embarrassing side of me." Angel leaned over to her. "Let's not let the secret out. Don't think it would strike fear properly."

"Nice to know I bring out your inner dork. You can scare off demons by declaring you are a level eight wizard." She was merely teasing him. They always had that back and forth banter and even if his mind was swiss cheese, he didn't seem to have forgotten that. She leaned up, whispering in his ear. "I know all about the Lord of the Rings dvds you tried to hide in your closet."

"I wasn't hiding them!" he protested. "They were just...just not enough room on the shelf for them."

"And for asked for the Star Wars trilogy for Christmas? And the Indiana Jones box set? You are just a big old manchild. I am surprised you guys haven't had a lightsaber fight in the lobby yet."

"Yeah, well, the getting to play with real swords sort of takes the fun from that." he said with a shrug. The movie starts and opens with a cartoon. Roadrunner. He shifted a bit more in his seat and smiled at seeing the cartoon. He laughed at the coyote's failed attempts to get his rocket skates to stop.

She always did love it when he laughed. She settled herself against him. And he was claiming not to be a huge dork and here he is, laughing his face off at cartoons. Dork. But that is why she loved him. Maybe she just had a secret thing for dorky guys. Or it could just be that this was a side of him that few outside of their family had ever gotten to see. A special secret that was reserved just for them about Angel.

"I love these. My favorite, though is Marvin the Martian." he said and did his best to imitate Marvin. "Ooooh, I am sooo furious. I must blow up the Earth because it is obstructing my view of Venus."

"And you thought I was a bad actress?" She turned her face up to look at him with a raised brow. "Don't quit your night job. Voice over work, not in your future." She turned her chin back down so she could look at the screen. "And I know. I am Vision Girl."

"What? We going to get you some tights and a cape now." he asked. "Big V on your bre...chest?"

"You would like that too much. Me running around in skin tight lycra superhero costume with a giant letter to draw attention right to my breasts. I barely made it out of the house when I dressed up as Wonder Woman last year!" She reached up and poked him lightly in the chest. "Yeah Mister...I still remember what you said to me. 'Keep the costume on, Cordy' in that low growly I-need-you voice you do so well."

The vampire's smile faded and he looked down at the box of Milkduds in his hand. He had just put one in his mouth, though not being able to taste it, he just liked the texture. "I wish I could remember it."

"You will. And if you don't, then we will just have to relive all our best moments. I don't mind tying you up with my golden lasso again." She let her hand drift down to touch his knee. "We can make new memories too. Like right now. Aren't you having a good time?"

Looking over to her, Angel put on that little half smile. "The best." he said to her. Leaning to her, he gently kissed her.

She kissed him back but she moved her lips from his right as the movie started. "Now shhh, eat your candy, movie is starting." She whispered to him, however unnecessary it was. Just one of those drive in or movie theater things. When the movie starts, you get quiet. Its the rule. Despite the length of the movie, it passed quickly as she was snuggled up against Angel. She always got a bit misty eyed when Bonnie dies. She wasn't a big fan of Melanie though. So perfect and flawless and everyone loves her. Then again, her Angel was quiet aware of her opinions about all the characters.

When Rhett finally told Scarlet, ‘Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn’...he leaned over to her. "Do you know what a scandal it was when this movie came out and he said that?”

She snickered softly. "You always say that to me when we watch this. I always get the story. But go ahead, I know you are dying to tell me again." Since he probably didn't remember any of the times that he had told her before.

"Yeah, well," Angel said, "back in the day cussing just wasn't done in the movies. This was the movie that was the ground breaker. I went to see it and when Clark said that this little old lady had her a real fit over it."

"This from the guy who's people made cursing an artform." She hadn't moved her hand from his knee but now that the movie was winding down, she slowly started to inch it higher up his leg from his knee.

"That's not all we've made an artform," he said as he looked at her, feeling her hand move. His eyes looked down then back up at her face.

"You want to go back to the hotel or maybe up to the Point? Don't want to go too far out of the city and get stuck in the middle of nowhere at sunrise."

Leaning over, he started the GTX. "I think our own bed is where I want to be.” He said, looking over at her as the engine comes to life.

"The hotel will be seeing a lot of action tonight." She laughed. Between her and Angel and Connor and Lillian. Good thing the twins' rooms were on the other side of the house. And they knew if the door was locked, mom and dad were doing their special training session.

Angel stole a kiss from her as he waited for a break in the traffic to pull out.

She smiled at him when he did that. "So quick and sneaky. No wonder you are what evil fears in the night. I just hope you don't kiss them like that."

"I've had a couple of them ask me to kiss their asses," he said, "but I declined and decided on the decapitating instead."

"I think that was probably the best idea, for all involved. I know better than to tell you to kiss my ass or bite me. You will do it."

The drive back seemed like it took a century to Angel but finally they were pulling into the parking of the hotel. He parked the car and got out holding the door open for her. "We'll send the kids for the candy later," he said as he waited.

She grabbed her trash out of the backseat of the car. "You are watching them after they stuff their faces. Or we can tell Connor there is candy and watch it disappear in two seconds flat." She slid over on the bench seat and got out. She made her way to the elevator. She would throw the take away trash out at home. Angel would have killed her if she left it in there.

Riding the elevator up, Angel couldn’t resist. He cornered her and kissed her. His hand moved down her hip, around to her ass.

She didn't seem to mind being cornered like that. She dropped the bag of trash on the floor so she could wrap her arms around his neck. It seemed to her that Angel was wanting this, after this week apart, as much as she was. If not more.

When the door opened, he picked her up, still kissing her. Carrying her through the renovated suite to the bedroom. He lowered her onto the bed when there.

She finally broke the kiss so that she can breathe. She was panting softly. "Angel...lock the door." Her voice was barely more than a whisper there. But someone had to make sure the kids didn't walk in on them.

He looked at her and blinked. "Door.." he said in an echo, a blank look on his face..."Oh, door!," he backed off her and went back to the door to lock it.

She scooted up on the bed after pushing her shoes off her feet. She can put them up later. She watched him as he locked the door, grinning. "You going to put on a little show for me now? Shake that manpire booty?"

Turning, he looked at her. "I could say, manpires don't dance." he said as he unbuttoned his shirt, slowly coming back to the bed.

"We are behind closed doors. I think you could dance for me." She moved so that she could kneel on the bed. She kept her eyes on him, moving from his face down to his fingers as they worked open his shirt.

Pulling that black silk shirt off, he tossed it to a chair. He reached for her to pull her up to stand. He turned her around and his hands pressed her back against him as he started moving against her. His hands moved to rest on her hips, keeping her back against him.

She closed her eyes as he started to move against her back. She moved easily with him. The contact was electric for her, sending sparks down her spine and right to her very core. Sometimes something so small like a touch or a look, could excite her more than anything else in the world.

Angel took in the scent of her perfume. Closing his eyes, he imagined what this night was going to be like. How wonderful to be with her. He lowered his head to kiss her shoulder at the juncture of her neck. He let out a low, rumbling growl.

She smiled as she heard that growl or rather, felt it against her skin. "I love it when you get all growly." She slowly rolled her hips back, her ass grinding against his groin. It was only fair to give him a taste of his own medicine after what he was doing to her.

"Remind me roar in a bit." he said, knowing she knew what he meant. His right hand came up to her breast and his long fingers started teasing her nipple through the fabric.

Over the clothes groping, Cordelia felt like she was back in high school. For about thirty seconds until she felt those skilled fingers. They were hardly the bumbling fingers of some barely out of puberty youth. These hands belonged to her husband, a man with a wealth of experience through the ages. And someone she loved, which made the experience so much more pleasurable.

His hands moved over her as if it was the first time to touch her like this. For him though, it was. His left hand moved from her hip to her top to work it off. He peeled the shirt from her, tossing it away.

She hadn't bothered to wear a bra this evening. The cami was tight enough that it would have just shown through. She kept her eyes closed as she felt him pull it over her head. She only moved body away from his long enough for him to get her top off before she laid back against him. Her hot skin against his cool chest, skin pressing to skin now.

Angel turned her around to face him and he lowered to kiss her and he unzipped her skirt. Her warmth where she touched him caused his skin to tingle.

Cordelia tilted her chin when she felt his lips touch hers so she could make the kiss easier between them. Her heart skipped a beat as he started to unzip her skirt. Her hands rested on his chest for only a few brief seconds before sliding down to the waistband of his pants.

Breaking the kiss, he raised his head to look down at her. His right hand came up to caress her face, his thumb brushed her lips.

Her eyes opened as he pulled away from the kiss. She looked into his eyes. "I think we both still have too many clothes on." She said with a grin as she pushed her skirt over her hips, letting it fall to her feet. Clad now in just a black lace thong, her hands started to make short work of his pants. She refrained from pulling them down until he got his shoes off.

Pulling a leg up, he unzipped his half boot on one foot then the other and pulled them off. He put a finger in the strap of her thong. He twisted it until the thin strapped snapped.

She jumps back a little as it snaps back against her skin. She rubbed her hip, smiling at him. "That hurt, you nut. I don't go around snapping your panties."

He reached to pull her back to him and then snapped the other strap as he did with the first. He pulled the thong from her easily since the straps were broken. "Seems like I'm over dressed."

"I really liked that pair of panties, Angel. You could have just asked me to take them off." She frowned as she looked at him. He should know better than to go tearing her nice clothes. He didn't like it when demons tore up his shirts. She didn't like it when her demon husband tore up her panties.

"I'll buy you five pairs tomorrow." he said, letting the thong drop from his hand.

"I am holding you to that." The look in her eyes was clear that she meant that. She moved back to him so that she could help him out of his pants and boxers. She was going deliberately slow, like she was unwrapping some present and wanted to spare the wrapping paper. She was mostly doing it out of revenge for her panties.

When she got them down, finally, he stepped out of them and then laid her back on the bed. He swallowed, feeling her body under his. It felt good and also...facing a boaritz demon didn't make him feel this nervous.

She ran her hands along his body, starting at his arms and then up over his biceps to his shoulder and then his back. "Baby, what is wrong? You are so tense." The muscles along his back felt like stone. She leaned up to kiss his lips softly. "Lay down on your stomach. I'll give you a massage."

Nodding, he moved up to the head of the bed. He so wanted her but he was so afraid of several things now.

She waited for Angel to lay on his stomach before she straddled the small of his back. She started low, fingers working into the tense knots at the base of his spine. "Are you worried about that group that keeps attacking the school?" Usually, cases like this, if they talked it out and he got a massage, he was in good enough spirits to perform.

Angel frowned and was quiet for a long moment. "What group is that?" he asked. But her massaging was taking the frown right off his features.

"We don't know. You went out to track down a lead last week." She started to slowly move her fingers along either side of his spine, massaging in small circles. "They killed a girl who was on her way here from Reno. Left a calling card. No symbol we had ever seen."

"Where is this picture?" he asked her. "Maybe I'll remember something from it."

"In Wes' office..." She sighed because she knew what this meant. He was going to get his robe on and go downstairs. She swung her leg over his back, getting off him so he could get up.

Rolling over, he looked at her. He reached up to touch her face. "I thought...but I can't..." he pulled her down to him. He wasn't going to go, it could wait until morning.

: "You thought what? You can't what?" She was confused but she didn't resist as he pulled her down. She wanted to be held by him. Well, she wanted a lot more than holding but if he was in that mood, she could always take care of herself later.

“Just lay here with me for a little. I want to feel your warmth against me.”

Damnit. The least he could have done was get her off. She knew that could sense that need in her. She was trying to give him some slack, what with the memory loss and everything. And the fact that he was understanding last night. She finally barely sighed. "Okay..." But it was with a resigned tone as she moved closer against him.

He rolled on his side. He knew. His hand moved down from her shoulder then over her breast. He leaned down and kissed her nipples. Maybe the evening could be saved if he tried.

"Angel..." She said softly. "If you have too much on your mind, its okay. We can just lay here like we did the other night." Her body wasn't reflecting what her mouth was saying though. She shivered as she felt the coolness of his lips against her nipples.

He reached up and put a finger to her lips. He took her whole nipple in his mouth. He sucked and pulled up, letting it slowly pull from his mouth.

She kissed his finger softly. Who was she to protest when he was making her feel so good? Then again, his sexual appetite...some nights not even wild demons could drag him away.

Angel worked over her breast. Nipple in his mouth, he flicked it with his tongue and then sucked. He tasted her and it was like honey. He felt the nipple harden in his mouth then he turned his attention to the twin.

She gasped as the air rushed over the harden bud once he took his mouth away. The combination of the wetness and the air was too much for her to keep quiet. She reached for his hand to cover her breast, protect it from the air. And to force him to give both of her breasts attention at the same time.

He was going to move his attentions elsewhere after teasing her at her breasts. "I just want to please you, Cordelia."

She raised a brow when he said that, tilting her chin down to look at him. Maybe he just couldn't remember what she liked. She gave him a small smile. "You are doing pretty damn good so far, Champ. I'll tell you if you do something I don't like." How could she not? She wasn't going to let him get away with doing something if it didn't feel good. Then he just might do it again if she faked it.

Angel kissed her before he slipped down her body. Each kiss against her skin was followed by a nip. He pushed her legs apart and rubbed the inside of her thigh.

Those just barely there nips caused her to snicker. Just this side of tickling is what it felt like. She wasn't sure which way Angel was going with his foreplay tonight. She wasn't complaining either way. Never. She slowly pulled her legs up, knees bent down as he rubbed her thigh.

Looking at the prize, he then lowered. His tongue licked her sex, slowly, teasing her every bit.

The same sounding gasp she had let out moments earlier once more escaped from her lips. She was expecting it but at the same time, it always felt so wonderfully new and exciting.

Licking her again, he tasted that sweetness. He took her lips in his mouth then his tongue sunk into her. He pulled it in and out of her, running it on different areas each time. Again, a growl came from him as his demon came to surface.
Her back barely arched up, lifting her slightly off the bed as his mouth worked against her sex. It had been so long for them. A week was long for them! And he was exploring her with the fervor of their first time together. A little longer with these kind of attentions and she would be begging him to make love to her.

Angel pushed his demon back. He wanted to please her as a man, not an infernal creature. He delved his tongue in her again, tasting her honey. He could push that demon back physically but it was still there and it still heightened his own senses. He could tell her body temperature had risen slightly as her heart rate increased. He could smell the small secretions of perspiration. Most of all he could taste that first little bit of reward coming from deep within her. He brought a finger up and started stroking at her asshole as he continued to eat at her sex. His long finger played at the entry then he slipped it in.

Cordelia had never been a woman to hold back and especially behind these closed doors with Angel, she held to that personal rule. Her hips rose up as she pushed against his cool tongue. The sensation of his room temperature lips and tongue against her red hot heat was as amazing now as it was the first time she experienced it. And the fact that he didn't have to breathe was not lost on her. It was most appreciated in situations like this. She felt his finger teasing her at first, a smile coming to her lips at the slight tickle but it was quickly replaced to a wide O as sunk the digit into her.

Now she can see why it was the Furies so moaned his name when they said it. He thrust his finger in and out of her. He kept his tongue working her heat. Her pleasure was rewarding him.

Her hands twined in the sheets of the bed, gathering them up in her fists. And here, in this moment, she surrendered. She whispered his name as her body clenched in climax.

Angel kept on when his mouth was given that honey from deep within her. His free hand moving up her side, groping as he heard her call to him. He felt her G-spot on the tip of his tongue...her muscles contracting.

Her toes curled down, digging into the bed like her fingers already were. "Angel.." Her voice was barely there. She had to force herself to make noise. Her body was straining, her muscles wound tight now as her body alternated shaking and contracting. "S-s-stop..." She managed to get out in a panted whisper.

Stopping, he raised his gaze up to look at her. The taste in his mouth still fresh..and the scent from her was intoxicating.

Her eyes were open and she was looking up at the ceiling but she sure as hell wasn't seeing anything but stars. Blissed out, completely sated and satisfied stars. Oh, she was glowing alright. Not just from that bit of demon in her either. She was panting as she tried to drift down from that incredible high.

Angel moved on up to her. His arms around her now. He kissed her lips, crushing her warm, glowing body against his cool one.

At first, that kiss didn't register since she was still riding that afterglow but only seconds later, she was kissing him back. She took the reins to deepen the kiss. She had her fun and now it was Angel's turn. She brought her leg up to curl around his, trying to move even closer to him if that was possible.

He rolled over, pulling her on top of him. His hands moved down to her ass and he groped her, feeling her firm ass.

He must have been reading her mind when he did that. He already worked so hard. Hard being the key word. She broke the kiss between them so she could breath but it only took a few seconds before she was kissing his chin and then moving to his neck.

He tilted his head back, eyes closed. He swallowed hard. Her hot body covering his felt so good. Every place she was in contact with him felt like fire. An erotic fire that burned but didn't consume.

She knew exactly what he liked and she bit into his neck. This wasn't a nip at all but it wasn't enough for her to draw any blood from him. She just wanted to make sure that he felt her teeth against his skin. She enjoyed driving him wild before she finally gave him release.

Angel gasped involuntarily when she bit him. His back arched up against hers and his hand grasped her ass tighter. Yes, vampires and the neck thing, Cordy seemed to know all about it.

She pulled her teeth from his neck. But she didn't stop the contact. She kissed his earlobe and then the shell of his ear. Her voice was a low, husky whisper to him. "I need you inside me." It was more of a warning to him than anything else.

"I want that too." Angel barely managed to say. "I want to fill you."

She sat up now so that could look down at him. More so that she could put her legs on either side of him and get herself ready for what was to come. She moved her hands torturously slow along his chest, her fingernails barely scratching at the surface of his skin.

He opened his eyes to watch her. That perfect body and beauty. Reaching up, he touched first her stomach then moved his hand up to brush over her breast.

Her hand curled around his member when her hands finally made their way to it. She stroked him gently though he really didn't need it. She wondered sometimes if he was born with an erection. He always seemed ready to go. She sat up on her knees just enough so she could guide him inside her.

Irish boys are mostly born with hard-ons team that with being a vampire, well, things do tend to come up. The pleasure was close to being painful. He closed his eyes and his hips pushed up to meet her. He came up on his elbows a bit.

She settled into his lap once she had used her hand and body to slid him fully inside of her. She didn't move just yet. There was always those few seconds she needed as a period of adjustment. Very slowly, her body began to move. At first, it was just a slow rocking back and forth, still adjusting and deciding on her pace for this evening.

Then the memories flooded him. What happened with Buffy....and as happy as he had been then now...this was bliss. This was..Suddenly, her rolled her on her back and just laid there, but looking not at her.

She wasn't sure if he was trying something new out or what exactly was going on. She had suddenly gone from being in control to being under him with him not moving. "Angel...baby...is something wrong?" She gently touched his back with her fingers. She thought maybe he was still weak from his attack. Or maybe he was...oh god, did they make Viagra for vampires?!

He moved off her finally. "I'm sorry." he said quietly.

She had to steal a quick peek. No, he was still hard as steel. So what was the problem? She looked back up at his face and reached for him to keep him from moving further away. "What's wrong?"

Shaking his head, still not looking at her, his eyes diverted at the bed. "I...I don't know." Angel said.

"Don't pull away..." Her voice took on more of a commanding tone than she had wanted it to. She tried to reach for him once more. "You have a lot on your mind, I understand that."

"I need you and I want you." he said as he looked at her. "God knows how I do. I think I'm just...really tired after what has happened."

She gave him a small smile. "Then just lay back and let me do all the work. I promise afterwards, you are going to feel so much better." She sat up now. She wouldn't force him but she wasn't going to just accept his no and roll over.

He reached up for her face. "Just a couple hours when we're both recharged."

"You can stay up for a couple more hours, creature of the night...I can't." She leaned down to get closer to him. "I think I know how to recharge you." She kissed him. She made sure that it was soft at first. She was testing the waters. He was going to turn her into a rapist at this rate.

She was making this near impossible. Angel returned that kiss, slipping his arms around her. Yes, he wanted her. Wanted her more then anything he could ever think of.

She broke the kiss so that she could breathe now. She looked at him. "Please don't deny me. I need this, Angel." And she did. A week of worrying that he was dead and now he was back. She needed this physical intimacy. She needed the release from all that worry she pent up for so long.

He moved her to lay on top of her. He worked himself between her legs then into her, watching her face as he did.

As she felt him enter her, again, she took in a breath. Enough to fill her lungs and cause her body to rise up just a bit to touch his even more. She let her eyes meet his now, watching his expression as well.

He moved inside of her, his thrusts slow and easy at first. He kept himself up on one arm watching her.

She brought one leg up and wrapped it around his leg. She matched his pace with her hips to push back against him with each one of those slow and deliberate thrusts. Her hands reached for his face to pull him in close for a kiss.

Angel lowered and kissed her. His hand moved over to her breast and he worked it with his long fingers, feeling its firmness and the hard nipple. He still had his fears, making it hard to focus on the moment, no matter how much he wanted to.

He seemed to want things to go very nice and easy this evening, which was fine with Cordelia. She just wanted to be with him. It didn't matter the how as long as it happened. She gently pushed her tongue into his mouth to mirror his thrusts.

His movements quickened. His kiss broke to move down her jaw to her neck. His muscles were tense as he tried to keep control of his release.

She rose up from the bed to meet his now quick and short thrusts. She moaned as his lips slid away from hers and moved to that mark against her skin. She was too lost in the moment to notice how tense he was, how he seemed to be holding back.

Angel finally started moving harder. His cock was throbbing with release as his gut tightened. His face strained with pleasure.

She held onto his biceps as he moved harder, pushing down and back against the bed. Her chin tilted back, her neck arched and waiting, as she felt herself reaching that wonderful peak of climax.

He released into her. The heat of her and her tightening on him caused a gasping moan to escape from him. He trembled as with each thrust he released into her.

While she might have thought it odd that he didn't let his demon to come out to play, right now, her mind wasn't working on those big concept ideas. Despite the hard and quick movements, this entire night had been gentle so it was no wonder that her own climax was as well. It was hardly the seeing stars kind but it was very pleasurable to say the least. She calmed down, riding out the high of afterglow as Angel finished.

Angel wasn't trusting letting his demon out with his doubts. He was finally spent and he lowered down on her and kissed her. Then moving off her he rolled on is back and closed his eyes, swallowing as if waiting for something.

Now that, that was sudden. Usually there was a period of holding, of waiting. She sat up slowly. She watched him with his closed eyes, frowning deeply. Something was wrong. She just kept her eyes on him until he noticed she was winning this staring contest.

Opening his eyes, he looked over at her. "I'm still...I'm..me." he said and blinked.

She snorted now. "That's really debatable." She got up off the bed so that she could get her robe. Unlike some people, she could feel the cool air in the bedroom.

Angel reached for her arm and pulled her back. "I mean that, my soul." he looked at her. "I was waiting for the hard pain but it never happened."

"I told you...Wes took care of the curse." It was hard for her to get pissed off at someone who had memory loss, who couldn't remember his friends, his family, his wife. She could, however, be annoyed that Wes hadn't called her back or come back to the hotel.

"I was afraid at an minute it would happen and then I'd kill you and the kids," he said giving her that look. Yes, the puppy look. The one he used on her all the time when she was pissed at him after the firing incident a couple years ago.

She sighed at him. She took his face in her hands. "What do I have to do, Angel? Just tell me what you is going to make you realize that this is your life, this is where you belong? There is no more curse. That should have proved it to you, even if it was really less than our usual perfect bliss."

"Cordy," he said, "when I lose my soul, I know nothing of what Angelus is doing, though he knows everything I'm doing. When I'm back then it hits me hard, like a ton of bricks what he's done...Memories I have to live with and if those memories included hurting you and our family..." His voice trailed off as he reached up and touched her face. "But I think I'm good now."

"That is the thing. You don't have to worry about him. You haven't had to worry about him for years. Why can't...why can't you just trust in me?" She shook her head and pulled away from his touch. She got up from the bed so that she could finally get her robe.

"Cordy, its because, I guess I can't remember this spell. But what I do remember is Angelus." He stood also.

Cordelia tugged her robe on. She was hurt but she was hiding it well. "Good to know you can trust your faulty memory to the flesh and blood wife in front of you that is telling you what is what." Her poor robe was taking the brunt of her hurt and anger as she near violently tied the sash.

"I made love to you, didn't I? " he asked. "I trusted you that it was okay."

"I think you would have been more passionate and in the moment if you were humping the couch. I could tell you weren't with me. You were just going through the motions because I know the one thing that scares you more than any demon or vampire...and that is making me mad."

Angel nodded and he moved to her. He took her face in both his hands. "Yes, you scare me more then any demon I can face. In my swiss cheese mind, I lost you...To me that was so real and when I saw you here and when I look at you now that feeling of losing you again drives through me like a stake. I couldn't live through that again."

She touched the hands at her face with her own. She looked up at him. "You aren't going to lose me. I promised you that I was going to be by your side until the Powers decided to finally make you a real boy. And I will be there afterwards." She gave him a small smile. "Someone has to be around to change your diapers when you are an old man."

"And to tell you how hot you still are with silver hair and support hose." he said with a chuckle.

"I am hoping this demon thing pays off and I stay young and beautiful forever. I can heal my own wounds, why not my wrinkles." She touched his chest softly. "All your shuffleboard buddies are going to be jealous you have such a hot wife. Be like Grandpa Munster or Hef."

“I don't know what will be worse. Growing old with wrinkles or living long enough to get a bat nose like The Master.”

"I'll love you either way but my vote is for wrinkles." She got up on her toes so she could kiss that nose he was just talking about. "I am going to relax in the tub and then check on the kids. I assume you are going out to kill things? Take Connor. I don't want you out alone again."

"Connor might be busy." Angel said with a wince.

"What is the wince for?" She raised a brow as she caught the expression. Her first worry was that his back was hurting him again.

Angel just gave her a look.

: Whatever he was trying to tell her, it was completely lost on her. She looked confused and it was not a look that she particularly cared for. "What? What's wrong?"

"You said he moved his girl in here tonight," Angel said.

"And?" It didn't even enter into her mind that Connor and Lillian might be in Connor's "apartment" having sex. Parents don't want to think about their kids having sex. She got Angel his robe, handing it to him.

He took it and put it on. “I'm guessing Connor is healthy with a normal if not above average libido.”

She frowned when he said that. "He better be using protection. And let's not talk about our son's sex life. Bad enough when I caught them making out in his car." She paused for a moment. Angel's been home for a while, he was probably itching for a fight. "If I give you the map to get to the nest in Altadena, do you promise me you will not go missing for another week? That you will stick to Gunn and Faith like glue?"

“Yes, dear, and I'll be home before sun up. I won't stop off at the locale pub for a pint with the boys.” Angel tried desperately to keep a straight face.

"Don't. Its not funny." She really does look truly upset now. "I was so worried...I thought you were dead. I just felt empty inside. You can't scare me like that again."

Pulling her into his arms, he leaned down and kissed her. Finally, he released her. "You can't be rid of me that easy." he said. "You're aren't that lucky."

The kiss at least kept her from breaking down like she had so many nights when he was missing. She pulled herself out of his arms, though reluctantly. "Hurry up and get your shower or all the good vampires will be dust by the time you get there."

Angel smiled at her then headed for the bathroom to get ready to head out for his play time.

-TBC-