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16 October 2008 @ 03:03 pm
Crack!Fic: Fashion Has No Mercy  
Title: Fashion Has No Mercy
Author: xlivvielockex
Rating: R
Fandom: Project Runway (Season 5)
WARNINGS!: RPFS, spanking, adult situations, spoilers for season 5 finale of Project Runway, mentions of Germans
Word Count: 1354
Characters/Pairing (if any): Nina Garcia/Kenley Collins, with an appearance by Tim Gunn
Genre/Summary: Crack!fic. Nina punishes Kenley for being a copycat designer.
A/N: This came from a conversation I had with J. We were convinced the only way Kenley got to the top 3 was by sleeping by someone who works for PR. Since Tim Gunn and Michael Kors are gay and Heidi is busy making babies with Seal, that only left one other judge to bribe with sexual favors. NOT BETA'ED! (cause really, who would do it for me?)




Former fashion editor and all around diva, Nina Garcia, heard a knock on her dressing room door. She knew exactly who was on the other side of that door, red face with puffy eyes and black hair pulled back into a retro nightmare ponytail. She got up from her reclining position on her couch to open the door. If she had been a betting woman, she would have won it all.

“Kenley, what are you doing here? You should be packing up your workspace.” Nina lifted her hand, giving a slight servant wave but stopping in mid-gesture as the girl shrieked.

“Niiiiina!” Kenley Collins wailed. “No one understands me! You said I would win if I gave you sexual favors. You said I would be the winner of Project Runway.”

“I told you I would get you into the final. It isn’t my fault that you were rude to the one man who held your future in his perfectly manicured hands.”

“But it’s not faaaaiiir! I did all those things you asked me to. I’d never been with a woman before you, unless you count that one time in college but she was dressed like Betty, I was dressed like Veronica, we didn’t have an Archie and we had one too many hard lemonades. I even wore that devil costume and let you…”

Nina grabbed the bigmouthed girl, pulling her into her dressing room and slamming the door mere seconds afterwards. “You stupid girl. Don’t you know that prancing princess, Kors, is always looking for something to get me off the show with?!”

“You promised me the win! I need that hundred thousand dollars so I can pay some people to be my friends when I get photographed! How am I supposed to copy other people’s designs if I can’t go to JoAnn’s to get fabric?!”

“Oh yes, speaking of stealing people’s designs, I think you really should be punished for that.”

“But…but...I’m still sore from the punishment I got for stealing McQueen’s dress idea!”

Nina sat down on the couch, a challenging look on her features as she stared down the third place winner of Project Runway Season 5. She smirked every so slightly.

“But…my dad was a tugboat captain!” Kenley finally said, as if that alone would get her out of her punishment.

Nina grabbed the girl’s wrist, yanking her down quickly to pull the Bettie Page wannabe off her feet. Her lap was ready to break Kenley’s fall. She kept one hand on Kenley’s wrist to hold her down while her free hand yanked up the hem of Kenley’s vintage dress until it was around her waist. She smiled seeing that Kenley hadn’t bothered to put on those annoying frilly panties.

“Then you should be used to the rough stuff.” Nina said as she brought a palm down across Kenley’s creamy white buttocks. She smiled as the girl flinched, a fresh round of tears streaming down her cheeks. She was amazed that the little copycat had any tears left in her. She was like one of those baby dolls that you filled with water and squeezed their stomach to make the tears flow, or make them pee. Nina hopped that Kenley was simply the former and not the latter. This was a brand new Roland Mouret dress and she wasn’t about to let some hipster go pissing all over it.

“I would love to give you 50 for each of the four designs that you stole, Kenley, but I’ve got an after party and I just had my nails done for the final taping. We’ll have to find something else we can use. Any suggestions?”

Kenley sniffled. “You realize how talented I am like everyone else in my family has and you let me go?”

The fashion maven clicked her tongue. “Now, now. If you are going to defend yourself, you need to do better than that. Your choice was bland. I am underwelmed.” Nina looked around the room, her eyes coming to land on the little black book she had used to keep her notes during the shows at Bryant Park. She reached for it. “The key to fashion, Kenley, is innovation and creativity.” She brought the book down hard against Kenley’s ass.

“I didn’t steal! I don’t even look at other designer’s collections!” The fashion thief cried out.

“You sound like every plagiarist that was every caught, honey. If you just admit it, it won’t be so bad.” Nina brought the book down again, a thundering crack filling the opulent dressing room as book connected with butt.

“Those were my designs! Balenciaga stole them from my brain while I was sleeping!”

“You need an attitude adjustment and to learn to steal from better designers.” Again the book came down, leaving an angry red square against Kenley’s pale flesh.

Suddenly the door opened, the stately silver fox, Tim Gunn, speaking before his eyes fell on the sight before him, “Nina, Heidi wanted to know…” He stopped, jaw dropping open when he saw the raven haired girl splayed out on display across Nina’s lap.

“Oh yes, Tim, what did Heidi need?” Nina said as she brought the book down once more against Kenley’s backside.

“She just wanted to know if you want to split a cab to the after party.” Tim paused for a moment. “Nina, exactly what is going on here?” He gestured vaguely in front of him to the scene that was forever seared into his brain. It was probably a good thing he was celibate because kittens, after this, he wouldn’t be having hot mansex anytime soon.

“I’m punishing Kenley for being a copycat.”

Tim pursed his lips, bringing a hand up to his face, a single finger touching his lips. “Frankly, I’m a little concerned.”

“Yes! Be concerned, Tim! I’m an amazing designer! I didn’t steal; I don’t need to be punished!” Kenley pleaded.

“Nina, I think that perhaps if you used a sketch book, you might be able to cover more ground.” Tim came into the room, reaching for the sketch book on the dressing table of Nina’s vanity. He handed it to her. “Make it work.”

Nina smiled at Tim as she exchanged the small notebook for the larger sketch pad. “Thank you, Tim.”

“Carry on!” Tim said as he exited the dressing room, closing the door behind him.

“Now then, where were we before Tim came in? Oh yes…” Nina brought the sketch pad down, satisfied with the results as it turned Kenley’s entire ass a beautiful shade of cotton candy pink that was brightening into a strawberry red. “Now that is what I would call an excellent color choice.”

Kenley sniffled once again, wiping the tears that were flowing down her cheeks with her free hand, Nina’s iron grip still on her other wrist. “My dad…tugboat…” she managed to get out before bursting into tears again. “I’m a good designer.”

“No, you are a naughty little copycat that still has a lot more spankings to go!” Nina knew at this rate, by the time she got to the after party, Kors would have wolfed down all those little canapés that she loved so much. “I should get the German in here.” Nina mused.

Kenley’s eyes got wide, her skin turning even paler. “Heidi likes me! Everyone likes me but Tim Gunn!” She couldn’t hide the fear from her voice however.

“The only thing that trashy baby machine would like you for is some German snuff film. Or to put you in her sex dungeon with the other eliminated contestants nobody ever hears from again! You want that, chica?!”

“Nina please! I’ll do anything. I’m so good, you know that.” And that was the phrase that had gotten her into this situation last year when taping had started.

Nina grinned as she brought the sketch book down. “Anything?”

Kenley winced. “Yes, anything. I mean, as long as it doesn’t compromise my design aesthetic.”

“Maybe I’ve got something for you at Marie Claire.” Nina said as she smacked Kenley’s ass with the sketch book once again. It was going to be one very long night.
 
 
Current Mood: embarrassedembarrassed
 
 
 
diseased_insidediseased_inside on October 16th, 2008 10:26 pm (UTC)
OMG OMG OMG OMG

I love you baby.
Kelly: PR: OMG!xlivvielockex on October 21st, 2008 05:23 pm (UTC)
I knew you would get a good chuckle out of this.
vicki_bmorevicki_bmore on October 16th, 2008 11:05 pm (UTC)
Frankly, I’m a little concerned
Your Tim was so on point I could see him there analyzing Nina's S&M technique.

Tim pursed his lips, bringing a hand up to his face, a single finger touching his lips. “Frankly, I’m a little concerned.”

On a personal note:
I enjoyed the wave themed outfits from the girl who won but to me it was just too much of the same thing over and over, But I liked Katyo's stuff better. I would wear the long green dress or the white pants suit any day of the week. As a matter of fact I could wear almost all her stuff but that ugly bridesmaids gown she made before the finale and that one hooker short dress in that uglier shade of green.
Kelly: PR: Gunn Confusedxlivvielockex on October 21st, 2008 05:24 pm (UTC)
Re: Frankly, I’m a little concerned
Tim is the king and it's a good thing that Nina took his advice to heart. LOL

I liked Korto's stuff better too but the pleating that LeAnne did hasn't really been seen before, not done that way, so that's why I think she edged out Korto. If you take away the styling, accessories, the color, just go on silouette alone, LeAnne's stuff was slightly more fashion forward.
Khyrikhyri on October 16th, 2008 11:47 pm (UTC)
I'd appreciate this more if I could bring myself to see any sexuality in Nina. But I just can't :(

Kelly: PR: Santino Icexlivvielockex on October 21st, 2008 05:25 pm (UTC)
Not even as a leather clad dominatrix? I could totally see that but I can't see her having any sort of vanilla sex or sex at all. I see her making people lick her boots before she puts fishhooks in their nipples. LOL
Lizzay: happy davelizzelda on October 16th, 2008 11:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, man. I think I love you. I laughed so loud I think my neighbor could hear me through the wall. But I've been wondering, week after week, after that horrific Aquarius monstrosity - how Kenley kept making it through? How did she beat out Jerrel? And now ... I know ...

And btw, your Tim was beyond hysterical.

I am so memeing this for whenever I need a laugh.

Kelly: PR: OMG!xlivvielockex on October 21st, 2008 05:26 pm (UTC)
I was so giggling when I was writing it and I knew I had to bring Tim in to give his point of view. Man knows everything about everything.

And this is the ONLY way Kenley should have been allowed to stay. Her stuff was AWFUL.
Nikki: bones: jack lmaonikkiwawa79 on October 17th, 2008 01:10 am (UTC)
OMFG THIS REQUIRES MAD CAPS!! CLASSIC FUCKING FIC, DUDE!!!

This was hilarious. You had all the voices, perfectly. LOL Some actions/quotes I loved:

Tim pursed his lips, bringing a hand up to his face, a single finger touching his lips. “Frankly, I’m a little concerned.”

Kenley winced. “Yes, anything. I mean, as long as it doesn’t compromise my design aesthetic.”

I could hear that nausel-y fucking voice in my head!!!!!

“Now, now. If you are going to defend yourself, you need to do better than that. Your choice was bland. I am underwelmed.”

SO NINA! I love Nina.

This is made of epic win ♥
Kelly: PR: Santino Icexlivvielockex on October 21st, 2008 05:28 pm (UTC)
Awww, you are totally making me blush! This was just supposed to be a joking around fic so I'm so glad that you thought it was hilarious. I had to bring Tim in there. How could I not?

And Nina's a ball buster. Kenley's lucky that she didn't end up with an Elle magazine stuffed in her mouth, dropped off naked and bound in Chelsea.
beyondbastet on October 17th, 2008 02:28 am (UTC)
Ohhhh, you.
I am so sad I had to go to rehearsal before I could peek at the Tim part.

Like I said! You are a genius.
Kelly: PR: OMG!xlivvielockex on October 21st, 2008 05:29 pm (UTC)
Re: Ohhhh, you.
When did you break down and get an LJ? I'm telling you, you need to put your Bourne fic up on your LJ and pimp it out. Pimp it like that ho owe you money!
selene2selene2 on October 17th, 2008 03:45 am (UTC)
Too funny! And such the missing moment. It explains everything!

Loved your Tim btw. *grins*


Kelly: PR: Santino Icexlivvielockex on October 21st, 2008 05:30 pm (UTC)
Its really the only explanation for how she made godawful shit and was able to stay week after week.

And I had to put in Tim there. :)
JENSEN PADALECKI.: [HI→C/C] could be in a dreamwebsofseaweed on December 2nd, 2010 07:37 am (UTC)
OH, MY GOD. KELLY. THIS IS INSANE. OMG.

I’d never been with a woman before you, unless you count that one time in college but she was dressed like Betty, I was dressed like Veronica, we didn’t have an Archie and we had one too many hard lemonades.
fadskkads;lfkaldsg XD

Edited at 2010-12-02 07:37 am (UTC)